Friday, February 15, 2008

Down with the Anti-Valentinites







To the Anti-Valentinites (aka the people who can't hear about Valentine's without pissing all over it),
Look, I get it; Valentine's Day is commercial. It's hyped. It's a hallmark occasion designed to blah blah blah blah, blech (chokes, dies).
Well you know what? That's all true. V-Day is a rouse - A gimmick. It's pure evil distilled into $30 chocolates, 600% flower mark-ups and ad campaigns aimed at convincing me that I'm going to be sleeping on the futon unless I endow her with blood diamonds and salon gift certificates (which, by the way are now available at Chatters Salons across Canada...huzzah!)

And damned if I look forward to it every year.
Sure, I know that February 14th is a sales booster wrapped in cheesey sentiment, but you know what else is? Christmas. Yeah...I went there Christians. I don't see anyone saying 'I love Christ all year, why should I have to prove it?" or "Christ and I are cool, we don't need a cheap card to say it."

No, you don't...but isn't it nice just to do it anyways? Isn't it nice to have that one day to plan ahead and make an extra effort? Look - life gets in the way of romance - and anyone who claims different either doesn't work or has a really good dealer. Personally, it would be great if I had the energy to wine and dine MJ every day (and night...badoom ching!), but the reality is that some days we both come home with just enough energy to heat up some chicken and pass out by 10. We have loads of fun, sure, but Valentine's has always been the motivating factor to step it up a notch - even if that notch is simply a greasy/delicious fondu, some beer, a couple nice cards and watching Return to Fat Camp on MTV (amazing show btw).

How the crap can that be bad?

And then there's the 'single' argument - the: "but I'm single and Valentine's Day makes me feel worse. Woe is me, waaaaa." Ok, I get that. I've been there. Valentine's Day can kick someone around who's already down, so you know what? Treat yourself? Call a friend or try calling it something else...like... I don't know....Thursday.

Hey, I get a little jealous when my Jewish friends get presents 7 days a year, but I'm not going to shout out against Hanukkah. I might mispell it, but I'll never hold it against people. Ok, I lied, I don't know many Jewish people

What I'm getting at (albeit slowly) is that you don't have to like Valentine's Day. You don't even have to recognize Valentine's Day. Just, you know, shut up about it.

With Love-
Matt

1 comment:

Creative Freakin' Genius said...

Woah. That's scary, dude. Who stomped on your Valentine's Day Cheer?

I had a pretty good day and think that having a good attitude about it helped.

Seriously, tho. My sister wants to know when you're going to start giving Boyfriend Lessons.....